I want to talk about the impossible dream of a life we could have together. I want to hear him say that he loves me just as much as I love him. But I can't because he does not love me. That fact is heartbreakingly true. He loves someone else and a future together is something that could never be achieved no matter how much effort is put forth. I fully grasp the reasoning to which I cannot have the man I want and I understand that he wishes to have someone else for his wife but I keep finding myself unable to let go, despite knowing full well that I need to lock his memory away for my sanity. I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the. His soft, uncircumcised cock appeared to be over five inches long, very thick, meaty, and his foreskin covered the head. He also has lemon-sized, low-hanging, hairy balls, that hung down below the head of his cock. I could see why Kelsey enjoyed watching his genitals swing around, because even as a straight man, at least at that time, I thought he has an attractive package.Bryan walked around a little, and then stood in front of the window again, as he gripped his cock and balls together in one hand, and kind of shook them at me. Then he squirted what looked like Astroglide lubricant on his cock, which I knew about from when Emily and I used it years before, and he stroked his cock as it quickly hardened.I continued watching as his cock grew to what looked like about eight inches long and six inches in circumference. I realized then that I had been u*********sly rubbing my cock while watching him, and was surprised and concerned, thinking that I might have some bisexual tendencies.I.
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