Red roses stand for love of course. I was almost relieved to see him get back to himself. He smiled at me and held the roses towards my nose."Smell them," he said softly.I took a whiff of the roses. They smelled beautiful! So fresh!"You think she'll like these?"She? Don't you mean me?"I bought them for her. Guess what? I went into Victoria's Secret pretending to buy something and she was there. I asked her out on a date. I hope that's ok?" He smirked evilly.I didn't say anything. I was still in shock."I'm going to take a shower and get dressed for my hot date. I promise I won't bring her home. I know that might upset you a little." He laughed as if he was making fun of me.He left to take a shower without inviting me to shower with him. I stared at the gorgeous roses that were on the coffee table. How come he didn't bring ME flowers? I was speechless. It was as if he had stopped loving me.A few minutes later he walks out of his bedroom freshly dressed in crisp gray slacks and a black. No, I wasn't ready. I didn't really think so. But I had known I wouldn't be more ready in a day, a week or even a month either. I was as ready as I would ever be."You know you won't just be looking, don't you? To understand what I do, you need to experience a little of what I do..."No. I hadn't known. I didn't know. And if I had known I probably wouldn't have asked. But I had asked and now I was expected to say something. I understood that Ann wanted me to say either yes or no, that she would wait until I consciously made my own decision. For once the silence didn't feel comfortable but oppressive. Not because I had felt urged or hurried by Ann, I was pretty sure she'd give me all the time I needed. But more time wouldn't help me.I didn't even know what I was afraid of. Certainly not of Ann, or I wouldn't be here. Maybe I was worried that I might not like it. Or maybe I was just as worried I might like, maybe even love it. I hadn't known, but I had known that I would never know if I.
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