When Dorothy and I moved here in preparation for my retirement, the village had a population of under two thousand, and the figure has declined steadily. There used to be three public houses but now there are only two. There’s a small general shop and a newsagent that also serves as a post office. The Church is served by a vicar who looks after four parishes and visits ours on alternate Sundays. Three times a week there’s a bus service into the nearest town, twenty miles away. Barely enough even though we are an elderly, dwindling population.‘Yes,’ I said, remembering a number of solitary souls I sometimes encountered in the bar of my local.‘The important thing,’ the Major continued, ‘is not to mope. Get on with life. There’s plenty of it out there. Do your own housekeeping, do you?’‘There’s not a lot to do. I manage.:‘Do you cook?’‘Well, I’m no chef but I don’t starve.’‘Varied diet?’‘Oh yes,’ wondering where the inquisition was leading.‘Laundry?’‘I know how the washing machine. ..understand." I don't know, Mr. Bradley, we're working on that."Can you do me a favor?" Name it." Stop calling me, that. Stop calling me 'Mr Bradley' My voice is toohigh and I don't have my balls anymore. I don't think I get to be a'Mr.' anymore." All right, may I call you 'Joe'?" You might as well, Commander." Joe, we're on our way home now, we'll be there in about three days." I have to spend three days buck naked in this bag. How am I evensupposed to go to the toilet?" Well, there's a system for that. I tested it out and it works forwomen too." This stinks, this stinks on ice." I know, Joe, I know. Listen, try and sleep as much as you can, O.K.,buddy?" Oh yeah, sure, like it's just that easy."Ron and Schtopaugh finish screwing around In the LEM as much as theycould and returned to the Command Module. Ron looked at the resting JoeBradley and asked, Michael,"What the hell is that guy supposed to do? No way is his wife going todeal with this, and his kids? Shit, no way would my kids.
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