I knew it would take time for me to get up the nerve to try and get to know her better. Since I already knew she was widowed, I figured I was already off to a good start.I was aware that many bigger girls tend to settle for the first guy to come along, even if he’s a total dick, because they think they don’t deserve any better and should be grateful any man paid attention to them at all.When I moved into my apartment, the first friend I made was Prabha, who lived next door. She was a widow around eighty, very friendly, a great cook, and had plenty to say about our landlady.“Her husband was terrible, Rajveer,” Prabha told me one Saturday afternoon over coffee. “Mahinder was a lot older than Anjali, but that still didn’t excuse his behavior.“He’d make fun of Anjali’s weight, called her vulgar names, and never let her work on his properties because she was ‘too stupid’ to do something as simple as collect the rents. I’ll probably be struck down by the Lord for this, but I despised that. Then, I look at myself and ... I'm no better. Not one single shred better.FUCK!I fucking hate myself so much right now. What the fuck do I do? How do I make this right? There's got to be a way. Think, man, think.I had been here before. Standing at Jenny's door, wracked with guilt, too cowardly to knock. I found the courage to do it before. Just do it, man. Knock. Get it over with. Tell her, "No more 'service', Jenny." And this time tell her why. All of it. And tell her you'll get help. You and her together. You'll see a counselor, you'll work this through.I knocked. There, I did it.The door opened and, there she was, beautiful, just beautiful. Her hair was all in curls. She must've had it done again. It looked... she looked amazing. She was wearing a tight white turtleneck sweater and white jeans that clung to her legs like they had been painted on."Come in and sit down," she said coldly. She sat on the easy chair across from the couch. I sat down.She was ... she was mad. I could see.
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