All she ever wants to watch are those self help DVDs or stupid talks shows about how to better you life. Fuck that shit. It is sports all weekend!"As you sit there, flipping between 3 different games, the phone rings. "I knew that this was too good to be true, probably her calling to make sure I do this or that or some other shit." But you pick up the phone and it is a voice you did not expect to hear."Hi, David. It's Kim. Are you busy? I know that Shannon probably has a laundry list of things she needs done, but I need a hand. I have no power in 2 rooms and I think I blew a breaker. Can you come over and give me a hand?"You think to yourself that you would much rather enjoy your weekend then go over there and do someone else's hunny do list. But she is only next door."Sure, I'll be over in about 5 mins." Oh thank you so much."You hang up the phone. take one last drink of your beer, put on your shoes, grab a flashlight and head on over.You get to her house and she is already there. ..My heart skips a beat just looking at him.He takes my hand, we dance, and I love the feeling of his strong armsaround me.By the time the dance ends I'm trembling with a feeling I cant put myfinger on.Then he kisses me, and I can name it.I'm in love with him.I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever.
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