." I'm going to talk to her." Just leave her to it. We don't need her. You've got me, and I'm not getting emotionally involved with people who don't know what they want." You like her already don't you?" As if it isn't obvious? I don't want to continue being involved if she's just going to disappear off in a week or so." I'm going to talk to her. I'll see if there's anything I can do to ease her worries." Fine but I need to get to work. I'm literally standing here losing money right now."I try to avoid thinking about Selena as I work. I get quite a lot of interest and manage to do well for my first day. It's odd having tokens thrust at me and having people watching me, but I know I'll get used to it eventually. I kinda like the attention.I take my break to have some water and a rest. Some women had got quite handsy and left scratch marks, but it isn't a huge deal. I'm more bothered by the feeling that I might have upset Selena with my behaviour. I didn't mean to snap, but I'm feeling. My mum listened and listened as my confused emotions rebounded aroundthe room. Near the end of my ranting, she said "Julie, you didn't chooseto become a female but you did choose to become a wife, you struggledmentally to accept that you could be a heterosexual woman, do youremember how competitive you were as a boy, you were a real bad loser, Ithink you should go to him and fight for him" " I don't think you shouldblame this breakdown to your intersex history, this situation happens tolots of people, your feelings are identical to any newly wed couple,everybody enjoys the exciting courtship phase. You both have to work ata marriage, the problem is one or both of you have stopped working atbuilding your relationship. You chose to be his wife, go to him see ifyou can work it out, you still love him, and you cannot find an answerto your true feelings festering here, please go to him".Mum looked after the family, I darted around for a few days arranging mypassport, (thankfully mum and.
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