I don’t feel productive. I’ve been working about 10 hours a week. I did put in a full 8 yesterday. I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a better word dementia like symptoms. I knew why we were there but didn’t understand what was going on. I was arguing about what papers go into what envelope and other silly behaviour. At one point my wife laid her head down on the desk. I was an overgrown 5 year old. I knew what was going on and I couldn’t stop it. It was that day my wife said I could use CBD no matter what the doctors say. I still had some and it helps keep that shit in check.Why didn’t I mention it when I wrote about it then? It’s humiliating. Every time it happens it brings me one step closer to the nursing home. Thinking about it scares me. If I don’t write about it I don’t have to think. Raste me mene wapis poocha Anjali bhabhi ke bare me to bhabhi boli wo kuch jyada hi shokin hai, aur us ka devar us ke sath khoob maje kar ta hai.Ab mere pass chudai ke liye ek hi chut bachi thi, ab mera poora dhan Anjali bhabhi per tha, hum kabhi parking me milte the to me unko boobs ko hi dekh ta tha, unko pata chal gaya tha ki me unko kis nigah se dekh ra ha hu.Ukdin hum lift me sath sath me the, 6 7 jane hone ke wajah se bhid thi, me peeche chipak kar kharda tha, achanak koi utara aur jage hui to mere aage aakar khadi ho gayi, aur muj se bat kar ne lagi, ek bar to muje aisa laga ki us ne apni gaand jan buch kar peeche lagi aur mere land ko touch kiya, me shock ho gaya, mene us din bhabhi ko mene kaha ki bhabhi aaj to tumhari frd ki gaand ko mera land cho gaya hai, kuch arrange kar vao yarrrrrr…..Bhabhi ne kaha nahi us ka devar har samay us ke sath rehta hai, is liye bhool jao, mene kaha bhabhi kuch to karo yarrrrr, aaj lift me ungi gaand ko mere land nu chua hai tabhi se beth ne ka.
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