Try me. Communicate, don't keep it bottled up inside. There isn't anything that you can't tell me.”“Mom, . .” He opened his mouth but nothing came out, he tried to start again, and failed. The third time he said, “Mom, do you think you can love two people, at the same time?” He held up his hand to signal there was more. “I don't mean like you love me and Jan, at the same time, not that, I mean – have passion for two persons at once, desire both, though you can only have one. Should only have one, that is.”“Of course, you can. I can, I mean, I understand. Did Madeline have an affair, did she fall for some other guy, and that's why she left you?”“No. God! this is so hard, especially after . . . listen, it was me.”“You had an affair?”“No, I didn't, but I have been in love with . . this woman my whole life.”Now I was confused. “You're whole life? But you haven't known anyone your whole life but . . .” A horrible thought suddenly hit me, “You don't mean . . your sister! Not Jan – I don't. ‘Come on Lena, stop crying. He needs you to be strong. This afternoon was difficult for him. Dredging up those powerful memories from all that time ago. Dry your eyes and let’s get dressed.’ ‘I’m sorry Jo. I will try, I promise.’ ‘I know you will,’ I said but I wasn’t going to hold my breath just hope that he would understand. So Saturday arrived! I didn’t sleep very much on Friday night I must admit. I think we were all restless. Mike recovering from the emotional experience of the afternoon, Lena with worry despite what I’d said to her, and me thinking about Guy and how I would behave. I was sure that he wouldn’t stay if he realised he would be around me and Lena in our swimming costumes. I was also sure that he wanted me, wanted me like that. When we kissed goodbye after our meal that Thursday evening it felt as if he wanted me so I thought he would be embarrassed as well, unable to control himself. He would also be terrified that I was going to ‘attack’ him, not to mention the.
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