"This is androcyn. It's a testosterone blocker. It's going to stop your body from producing male hormones. It will keep up from growing facial hair, getting a deeper voice and all that other guy stuff. You need to take one of these each morning and evening."After I swallowed a pill, I asked a really stupid question. "Is it safe?" Hey, would I give my little sister something bad? If you take these pills each day, in a couple of years no one will ever know you were born a boy."I carefully followed her directions. Lark was right. The chemicals were hardly noticeable for almost a year. My body hardly changed at all. But, when I turned fifteen, I started having a growth spurt. My breasts started filling in. My hips and thighs started thickening. I was growing a rounded, shapely butt.I was able to buy some different sized clothes at the mall with Becky. We still had our fashion shows in the bedroom every Saturday afternoon.I had to wear a sports bra and loose clothing at school and no one. Why do you think you're my bestgirlfriend? Amanda, you are just being you now. It took something likediscovering the game you played with your mom to make you realize you'rea girl. I know you have a reputation for being tough, but being a boydoesn't make you that way. Standing up to bullies does and a girl can dothat too, you just don't realize it yet. When we're together you couldn'tbe more feminine if you tried. Being feminine isn't the way you move ortalk or any of the things girls do on the outside, it's what's here,"Cindy said, pointing at her heart."That's why you're having a conflict with yourself. You think justbecause you're supposed to be a boy, because you look like a boy, youcan't be a girl, well, you're wrong. You're a girl Amanda, through andthrough, you just haven't seen it yet, but you will."My tears had ceased and of course my makeup was ruined and Cindy wasright, I was thinking like a girl, after-all what boy would worry abouthis makeup?Was Cindy right, have I been.
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