But it's often themost interesting part of the story." I should have told you about having a child. It was wrong of me not to." Why?" Because leaving it out makes it look as if it didn't matter to me. As if Ididn't care." Is that the case?" No of course not." Well, I didn't think so. It's often the things that effect us the most thatwe can't talk about." I tried to be a parent to Phoebe. It was the most important thing in mylife. I would never have transitioned if she gave me any indication that sheneeded me to stay around and be a father. But the fact is it came to thepoint where I hardly ever saw her anymore. Maybe we'd get together once ortwice a month. Maybe we'd spend an hour or so together at some restaurant.The other 95% of the time, I was by myself, living a false life, pretendingto be someone I wasn't. For who? It would have been hard enough if I weredoing it for Phoebe's benefit. But was she really getting that much out ofthat ninety minutes a month that it warranted me. Then her cheeks went red and she blushed and looked away. Then in a half hearted voice, she sheepishly whispered, "It was still wrong."Charles said nothing in reply. Instead he took a long sip of his cola, gazing thoughtfully at the girl who was sitting before him.Charles and Connie were sitting in the main food court of the Sunnyvale Mega Mall. They had left school after the incident in the library, so that they could get some fresh air and think about what they were going to do next.Charles had remained silent during their walk to the mall, keeping his thoughts and reactions to himself. In a way it had made Connie happy, for her mind was filled with conflicting thoughts.Truth be told, it had been the first time that she had ever touched another woman and while it had felt fantastic in ways that were indescribable, Connie still felt guilty for abusing someone who had no choice in what was happening to them. That and the fact that she had done it so soon after having been abused.
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