Cursed to go through existence with a fucked up mindset. And the fact that they don’t know it, makes it even harder to grasp. I’m not going to take the clichéd way out and blame God. That’s too easy. I don’t know if God intended for her to be the way she is, or if He intended for her to kill her child, as part of some grand master plan. I am not even going to try to understand her. I heard that in her later years, she cried out for mercy. That she could be heard in her room screaming out to God for forgiveness. I wonder also if she’s sincere. How can she be remorseful if she doesn’t realize what she’s done? Is it a plea just because she feels that it’s expected? Or is she even able to understand that idea? Who knows what is going on in that mind of hers? Maybe she realizes she’s going to die there, and this is just a result of the looming death mentality that grips death row inmates. Seemingly all death row inmates find religion at the end. Facing death what more can you do? Might. It is a friendly place and everyone knows each other. One day I walked in and the normal older gentleman bartender is not there. I am startled by this young pretty girl serving beer. She knows her way around the bar so I assume she is the bartender’s daughter. Her name is Mia. She is 23 years old 5’3” tall. She has long dark brown hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. She has a gorgeous smile. It’s not busy and we get to talking about school and work and dating. She is single with no steady boyfriend. He dumped her to go with a girl who was a little looser. She is still a virgin, just waiting for the right guy. Maybe I have a shot here, she seems interested. I have a couple of beers and it gets busy so I go home and dream about her. I can’t get her out of my mind. I go back a couple of days later and she is there again. It is slow and she is re-stocking the bar. She goes out in back to get some napkins. I hear “Shit’ come from the back. “Rick (that’s me) can you.
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