I wrote up a much-abridged account of my adventures in Beatty and sent it off to Catherine. When I didn’t hear back from her within six hours I called her on her cell phone and she ended by calling me a turncoat and hanging up on me. I sent off an email to the FE, but my heart wasn’t in it. I no longer cared about working for a newspaper in the East Bay. I kept on with my writing and my research and my interviews though, during the day. Every night I fucked five or six guys and made about $3,000. My night job was more fun.My long feature article, and eventual book, were coming together, but I was pouty and fretful and I eventually unloaded on Joan, or Nicole or whomever.“I can’t do this,” I whined. “I don’t have anybody to sell this to. I want to be a journalist, not a prostitute. Well, a journalist and a prostitute. No, I want what I’ve always wanted. I want to make it on my brains, not my beauty”“Brains and beauty,” Joan replied, “everybody should be so unlucky. They. " I felt at peace for the first time in forever. I took the job, and started planning the rest of my life. I realized as I planned I needed to say goodbye to the few people I loved, and some I didn't. I called Ron, seeking closure for that period in my life. He was overjoyed, taking it as a sign we might get back together." It didn't go well. When he found out I wasn't letting him have another chance, and that I'd soon be gone, he kind of lost it. He had been drinking before I got there, and as the night progressed, he drank harder." As I was getting ready to leave, I told him how sorry I was we didn't make it, saying if we had been as loving and loyal as you two, it might have been different." Nothing is like it appears" he snarled. "I've been banging Janie, your perfect friend, for about six months now. She's just like all you bitches, say the right thing, or catch her in the right mood, and she'll spread like peanut butter." I slapped him and called him a liar, and he better not.
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