It was however my plan all along to return there to live. I decided that for sure after a visit to my ex wife. The decision to move to the homestead was so that I could forget her and her new family. I just wanted to be alone for a while.Since I had paid the two hundred bucks and change to the county tax office every year, it was mine free and clear. I never did ask for a new evaluation of the place, even though I could have. It was worth nothing at all in my opinion, but I knew the tax department didn’t want to hear that.On the night before my visit to the hospital parking lot I had check into the West Jefferson flea bag motel. It was left over from the 1950s at least. After I checked in I drove to a very distant cousin’s house. “Hello, are you Alice Martin?” I asked of the older lady who greeted me.“I used to be,” she replied. “and who are you?”“I’m still Andy Martin, John and Inez’s youngest.” I replied.Then we went through the I remember your family period of catching up. There. Under the gaze of all of these strangers, who had just watched her lose herself in the most private and intimate of all experiences. It does not seem possible; the door is infinitely far away. Somehow she takes the first step. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the blonde stretch her hand across the table, and the man lean forward to sniff, and she nearly crumbles under the weight of shame and humiliation. But she does not crumble, and one step follows another. She becomes aware of a polite smattering of applause as she passes, and one woman blows her a kiss and laughs. But her mind is all chaos; she cannot process any of this.Eventually, after what seems like years, she passes though the patch of bright sunlight and into the cool, dim sanctuary of the cafe’s interior. Just inside the swinging doors to the kitchen there are tables and chairs where the waitresses can catch a quick break between orders. She staggers to one of these, slumps into a chair, crosses her arms on the.
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