Please join me in remembering a great ICON of the entertainment community.The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive role model for millions.Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and three children: John Dough, Jane. While this story is true, certain details have been changed or left obscure to avoid identifying anyone involved.It was the fall of 2005. Mia and I were 20 years old.I invited Mia to come over one Friday night but she declined. I had been feeling horny all day, I found it difficult to focus on anything else. Thinking I had the whole night to myself I locked my door and powered on my computer. "This internet thing is really something," I thought to myself. "It might just catch on." I glanced over my shoulder, the door was closed and locked. I clicked on a link saved in my bookmarks, labelled how to make chocolate chip cookies, my browser opened to a porn site after a slight delay. An unending abundance of beautiful naked women populated on to my screen. Cock in hand, I browsed video after video, I enjoyed bringing myself as close to the edge as possible before pulling back. I was proud of my building stamina. I got up to stretch my legs and grab a drink from the fridge, upon my return.
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