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6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Thenannounce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” -and back away slowly7) SAY -DING at each floor.8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And pushall the red buttons.9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses abutton.10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for awhile, then announce: “I have new socks on.”11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around andask: “Is that your beeper?”12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergencyphone.13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalkand announce to the other passengers: “This ismy personal space.”14) WHEN there’s only one other person in theelevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretendit wasn’t you.15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you ashock. Smile, and go back for more.16) ASK if you can push the button for otherpeople but push the wrong ones.17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waitingfor your friend. After a while, let the doorsclose and say “Hi Greg, How’s your daybeen?”18) DROP a pen. ‘Oh my God!’ he repeated. ‘You look incredible!’ he gushed. ‘Thank you,’ said Valerie. ‘And you’re still as handsome as ever.’ Tears began pouring down her face. ‘Hey… No,’ said James. He walked to her and they hugged. Valerie sobbed. ‘Don’t cry, Valerie. What happened?’ he asked. She sniffed back tears and after a minute of trying to compose herself, she began explaining. ‘I was brainwashed by priests and nuns and… I don’t know… sexually ignorant people. My father sent me away to a private all-girls’ college out west. He heard about us. He was always possessive. Mother finally divorced him about a year later. He said I had to go to the school or I was dead to him. Anyway, I left the school after I was almost raped — by another girl of all things. I called my father. He didn’t believe it and he accused me of being a whore and disowned me. We haven’t spoken since.’ ‘How’d you make a living?’ James asked. Valerie hesitated. ‘Anyway I could,’ she said. ‘But that’s my burden. I wanted.
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