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As for what made me think it, I don't knowto be honest. You look like a woman, you sound like a woman andeverything about you screams "woman." It's just something like a sixthsense that's been bugging me this week."I'm afraid that I don't go for all of this "sixth sense" stuff but evenafter giving him my best "come on, now tell me the truth" look, he gavenothing more away. This is something I really don't want to discusswith people I hardly know but, as he'd asked me out on a date, I wouldhave to tell him at some stage so giving an untrue or evasive answer tohis question would not have been fair.After making him promise not to discuss it with anyone else, I quietlyconfirmed that I was, indeed, a fully transitioned transwoman. I thenpointed out that he'd not answered my second question - would it be aproblem for him. His answer was immediate:"Absolutely not. I still really want to get to know you and I'm lookingforward to our date tomorrow even more now."Looking forward to our date. Susan tore at my heart though as she begged me to try and get out of going. I remember the last night home as she clung to me and cried herself to sleep. She just couldn't understand this was the price of freedom and that this was part of what I was, as much my job as Farming or anything else I might have chosen to do. I was a citizen soldier and a farmer. All she saw was how my going would impact her and the children. She complained I was abandoning them. I was in anguish but I had no choice.I knew Susan was hurt and sad but I just couldn't believe how she acted. When I called she was curt and didn't talk long. I got very little e-mail and no "snail mail" and only a few "care packages" from the children. I had leased the land to Timothy while I was gone so she wouldn't have to do the farm work. The next year shouldn't have been too hard for her but I sure got the guilt trip laid on me about how hard it was without me at home.About 3 months after I arrived in country I got an e-mail.
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