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She allowed me to dress up and wear her bras and prepare the foodand tea in an apron. I asked her to call me Irene and she did. Butlater I found out why she obviously felt guilty and personallyresponsible for my inner conflicts. She was carrying high and everyonesaid it must be a girl - but she had such a horrible time with herperiods and with being unfairly treated by her father that she prayed andprayed to have a boy - and she did. Could her wishing change what was tobe to what is? We'll never know for sure but the mind is very powerful,Anyway, here's the bottom line. I looked into having the operation andbecoming a woman but it just didn't make sense. I still wouldn't be ableto have children. And the world didn't need a 6' tall 200 pound womanwho couldn't keep her weight in check. Instead, I've dedicated myselfinto helping other women with the advantages and entr?e I had as a man.And I've had a decent life that way. I had a decent 10-year marriagewhere I raised two. I tried my best, but it was too much for me, so I started to complain. I asked Ken to employ a gardener and he agreed. ‘There are plenty of hard-up students at the university always looking to make a few dollars, so I’ll get one of those.’ Not exactly the professional gardener I’d hoped for, but rather than complain further I let it go at that. Students come and go of course, and the first two we had lasted a bit less than a year each. Their knowledge of gardening was minimal and by the end of their time the garden looked very little different from when they started – a mess, with me still struggling to do something with it. The third student was a rather different proposition. Ken told me that he was studying at the Agricultural College and was doing a couple of single subjects at the university as part of his main course. To begin with he looked different from the other two. He appeared to be healthy and strong, and I must say he was very good looking. He also had a pleasant.
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