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Yeah, real original. Just like my parents who could have called me a thousand other names yet settled on the fucking most common possible name, John. Not even Jonathan or Jon without the stupid ‘H’. People have even asked me if that was my real name! This is the story about karma fucking with me, but in a kind of good way, not that I considered it good until my now-wife showed me how to look at in with a new perspective.I’m not a gambler. I have the worst possible luck. I’ve been to many casinos and bet on red just to lose ten bucks to black. I have since given up on hoping my luck will change. I’ve tried betting alongside someone who’s on a roll - I break their winning streak. I go to the supermarket and get in the shortest line then the man in front of me decides he wants to write a check and the supermarket’s machine breaks down ... I watch people in the much longer line next to me leaving with their purchases and I’m STILL waiting. You get the idea. Whatever I think will be a. You know, I was thinking about the movie and thought maybe we could keep each other company?Me: You mean tonight?Rachel: Of course, dummy! It’s just so lonely sometimes. I would really like someone to keep me company. It felt so natural in the movie we saw tonight.That flick sure did a number on her.Me: That’s a great idea.Rachel: Yay! I hope you like to cuddle!Me: I sure do.Rachel: Let’s go!We sneaked into my room slowly.Me: Is something wrong?Rachel: Do you always sleep in your underwear?Me: Yup, don’t you?Rachel: Well, yes, but not topless.Me: I think you should try it!Rachel: All right.I didn’t expect her to agree with me without any hesitation. She just took off her bra and exposed her petite breasts to me. Fuck Yes! I’m going to cuddle the shit out of those perky little tits.Rachel: Do you like them?Me: I’m not sure if it’s appropriate, but…Rachel: Don’t worry! You can say anything. We’re brother and sister.That’s exactly the problem.Me: They’re just perfect. A beautiful, firm.
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