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I might not be alone much longer. But that might just be me dreaming. But what's the harm in dreaming! It's not as if it'll really happen, because I know it's just a pipe dream. But I know that the idea is something that perks me up. It makes my life bearable again. I just can't think of the hurt if I were to lose another Karen. Maybe I'm just destined to have only one love in my life, except for my children. Can I really live with that outcome? Only time will tell.When I awoke the next day, I felt somewhat better. It was time to start the day. I felt that it didn't matter how the day ends. I have to keep chipping away at the time I've left in my life. It's as if our life is a block of stone. Each day we chip a bit away, but we're blind to the size of the stone. In addition, the stone changes consistency. Sometimes its sandstone and chips away easily, while other times its granite. Because it's so hard, it takes a lot of effort to chip away even a small sliver of rock to make it. Anyway, he always pays me the same....$350.00 for two days/a weekend. He takes me out somewhere remote as fuck and that's where he did something I never saw coming but given the right situation, I'd welcome again but ONLY from the right dude to do it. This dude made me strip down and then he bent me over the tailgate of his truck, pinned me down and forced his dick up my ass, putting a hand over my mouth. Fuck it had been the first time I got fucked and it was painful and I think I was seeing stars as this guy jammed his dick into my ass that he only lubed with his spit and continued fucking me until he popped a wad into my ass. That was just to start with. For that first time for two days he forced me to suck his dick and he raped me in my ass repeatedly and he also got me pretty high too. And all this happened in this spot he later said he knew about ahead of time and it was out in the middle of nowhere where noone was fuckin around. Then after he was done, he took me back.
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