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She was perfection, and her love was pure. She forgave me, even when it wasn’t deserved, and she gave all of herself to me. I wasn’t worthy, but I would try. You could bet your very last dollar that I would try.I also had to think about all the other good things going on in my life. Mom always tried to get it through our heads at just how lucky we had it in relation to others in this world. She was right, we had a very privileged life overall, and my problems were miniscule in comparison. We had a great loving family, good friends, a very nice home, enough money to want for nothing, and we had our health. I needed to try and balance my thoughts with that and not get so far out of wack that I sabotaged myself in a moment of stupidity. I must not overreact, and I desperately wanted to learn to think things through more carefully as they arose. The inadvertent pain that I had caused, my sister, compelled that from me.At least CC had agreed to get some help. I looked forward to her. My son Matt remembers a lot of events that happened around the house and our small town while he was growing up and tells us about them as we walk.Dylan asks question after question about my car as usual. Finally, I break down and tell him that I'll take him for a ride the next day, and if he's really good, I'll let him drive around a while. That seems to really do the trick.After our walk, Dylan rushes up to his room while Kate and Matt settle in to watch TV on the sofa. Maddie says goodnight to everyone and then grabs my arm and pulls me upstairs to our room."Mad, maybe I wanted to stay downstairs and watch TV with the kids," I said."You mean stay downstairs and stare at Kate, don't you?" she said. "Besides, you know good and well that after all of these years I can't get to sleep without you, and I'm tired. You're also going to be dragging your old ass out of the bed at an ungodly hour in the morning so you can run. So you need your sleep too."We changed and got into bed. Maddie.
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