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I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.“Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’? ... Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?”Yes, I know there are different variations of this joke posted but it is still funny.The following is compliments of StarFleetCarlMurphy’s Law of CombatNo battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.First Corollary:The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:A. When you’re ready for them, andB. When you’re not ready for them.Second Corollary:Professionals are predictable. It’s the amateurs that are dangerous....The problem with taking the easy way out is the enemy has already mined it....The buddy system is essential to your. He was wearing his long johns with a bathrobe over him when Mr. Smithers returned with three other Indian gentlemen wearing European clothing, but with Nebbi caps. The elder, obviously the employer of the other two, was introduced as a Mr. Pattal. Mr. Smithers took charge, informing him that David required a full wardrobe that must be ready by Monday at ten am due to his sailing at two pm. Whilst one of Mr. Petal’s assistants began to measure him, Mr. Pattal took out a notebook and began writing.“Am I to assume the Sahib requires everything from top to toe?” a beaming Mr. Pattal asked.Mr. Smithers replied, “Yes, at least three suits of your best material. A dinner suit, overcoat, and shoes to match. He’ll require a dozen shirts of your best Egyptian cotton along with dress shirts, stud’s, cufflinks, cravats, ties, and any other necessary accessories.”Mr. Pattal was furiously jotting down the provided information. “Shall I include underclothes and socks Sahib?”Mr. Smithers seemed.
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