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But, he took it too far and we dried up, sexually. Things got back to our newlywed sex life, but he's different again, outside of the bedroom." She confided."I don't understand. You two have the house all to yourselves. You're a hot woman and he should be screwing your brains out whenever you want. Wait a minute! I caught you topless out by my pool last summer and he was OK with that. What happened?" Joe asked."You saw us? I loved coming up here to sun without my top. It's the first time he let me wear a bikini in years. I may as well just tell you, you've heard everything else. We still have sex 4 or 5 nights a week, like when we were first married. It's good and it's hot, but it's only in the bedroom. Outside that room he's just not sexy, and barely pays attention to me. I like to dress sexy and have men look at me just to be appreciated for keeping myself in shape. He tells me to stop dressing like a whore. It's like he doesn't think I'm pretty and I should just save it for the. ”I sat back in my seat and didn't know what to say. She was smiling like she knew something I didn't.“You didn't just come into my life, Josh. I came into yours. You came to the ranch to make some money and I showed up to help my grandfather and we met. You saw what I needed, but I also saw what you needed. We're a lot alike and I know we're good for each other. It might have been luck that you showed up on the ranch, but maybe it wasn't. Sometimes things happen that we can't explain.”I knew she was talking about fate, something I didn't believe in, but I didn't say anything and let her continue.“All I know is I was keeping so much anger and pain in I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. I knew I was living a lie and you knew it too. You saw me, but I saw you too. I was hiding my sexuality, my desires, my fantasies, my spirit and you knew it, but I saw you running away from something you were afraid to face. Josh, we're on the same page. Don't be afraid to love me.”I closed my eyes.
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