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The news had hit me like a cold slap in the face and she stood there right in front of me while I took it, then left me crumpled like a wet dishrag. I shifted my hips in the seat, resting more of my weight against my shoulder blades. Taking my baseball cap off, I tossed it to the back seat. I ran my fingers through my hair stretching my arms and shoulders after the prior hours of sitting still. The mist outside turned slowly to a light rain. It was that cold kind of rain that cuts to the core. Gradually the windows of the whole cab began to fog up as the warmth of the vehicle came up against the falling temperatures outside. Totally relaxed now, my head turned slightly toward the passenger seat. I glanced out the passenger window to see the once mist covered window turn to long lines as the damp air merge into water droplets that slid gracefully down the glass. A small ornamental tree in the front yard just beyond the glass was covered in the blue-white light of LED christmas. I hated him. So why had I come to his place? Because he'd give me more coke and then have sex with me, call me a whore and humiliate me and not give a shit about my problems.The only other place I had to go was the first place I would have gone, if I'd been in my right mind. I drove to Stacy's because that's what best friends are for. If I couldn't fuck my drug dealer's cock, I'd cry on my best friend's shoulder. It was all the same, right? I giggled at that. Fucking and crying, what's the difference? I did them both at the same time nowadays. I could afford to take another pill anyway, because Stacy would have some. She took them too, although I didn't know why. Her life seemed perfect compared to mine.Maybe perfection is its own form of hell. That was another funny thought and I started admiring my own cleverness as that pill dissolved slowly in my tummy. I'd be in a fine mood once I got to Stacy's condo. Too fine for crying. Those pills were great. I just wished they lasted.
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