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I don’t think I want to be the cause of any divorces,” Andee said just before swallowing the last ounce of beer in the bottle. “Don’t go yet, we’re just having some fun. Besides, only Steve has to worry … Connor and I aren’t married. Which reminds me, you told us downstairs that one of the secrets to your marriage was ‘adventure’ but you never explained what that involved,” Dan asked as he sat down on the bed across from where Andee was sitting. The silence wasn’t so much as “awkward” as it was “dramatic.” For most of the night Dan had come across as a little standoffish and cocky, but this time he was almost boyish. Andee gave him a slight curled smile and began to talk about how 10 years ago she made a conscious decision with her husband to explore what life had to offer and shed a whole array of hung-ups. She shared stories about going to lifestyle clubs and the time she turned her bi-curious thoughts into confirmed bisexual lusts. The guys sat in blissful silence as she teased. Twenty minutes I spent like that, just crying my eyes out, sobbing and cursing. I wanted to just deny it all, pretend I never heard anything and admonish this diagnosis from reality. I wanted to wake up and this would all be one terrible dream and I would be home in bed with my head rattling from another hangover. But my mother was right there, her arms around my shoulders. She was there to tell me it was going to be all right, that this would be dealt with and beat. She had never before done this, comforted me like this and tried to sooth my pain away. Least not since I was a small, scared child. But that was what I was once again, a scared little boy. Her presence, her compassion now brought its own bout of tears from me. And I thought about that and about her being there and the fact stifled my tears almost as much as my own determination. To know my mother would be here for me was a strange truth to face. There had been years where our relationship had been lacking, maybe even.
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