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He began to see past the infinite beauty of unrequited love, and could suddenly view her for what she truly was. She was a train wreck. She was a beautiful, nostalgic, tattered sinking ship inviting him to go down, and drown with her. That simple acknowledgment enraptured him, and his heart broke wide to bask in the glow of this new understanding. His body suddenly felt as if the million anchors that had been dragging it down to the bottom of an ocean of sorrow and regret were instantaneously cut loose. He felt freed; he felt so much wiser for it. But as his train of thought broke away from this revelation, he began to hear her blubbering on about how she was desperate to find a man who would treat her right. “So, you know, after all the terrible things I’ve been through, I am just ready to find a nice guy.” A nice guy? A NICE GUY?! He knew he should be angry, and yet he wasn’t. It was more so a pinch of bemusement that jutted through him as she made this declaration. “Anyhow, so. I don't think so. Maybe I am. I dunno," he said. "I guess I'mnot really comfortable with the idea of seeing you in drag. A picture isone thing...," he trailed off. "Don't worry. You won't have to see me. I'm not planning onsuddenly changing everything about my life. I guess I just needed totell somebody." "But you said you had other transvestite friends you e-mail andchat with," he offered. "I do, but, sometimes it's nice to have an outsider to talk to.But if you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand. I just hope wecan still hang out...as guys." "Yeah. Sure we can. No problem," he said as he left. I wasn't convinced of that, and the next four days seemed to beproof. We had always got together at a bar during the week, to playpool, drink, scope the chicks, and gripe about life. He didn't call tomake the date, and I didn't want to force anything else upon him, so Ididn't call either. When he did call on Thursday night, it wasn't to play pool. "Y'know, I've been doing a lot of.
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