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The worst was a prank call about my mother being killed in a car wreck which forced me to leave merger talks to fly home. My mother is my last surviving blood family. We buried my father and brother ten years prior after a semi truck ran a red light.After discovering my mother wasn’t dead, I laid holy hell upon the whole damn lot of them. One year later I still refused to allow them in my home or talk to them. April wasn’t involved in that stunt thank goodness. If she was, I may have filed then and there. Only because of April’s begging, did I start talking to her family again. But only after I gave them a dire warning and a promise, “NO MORE FUCKING JOKES or the lot of you will never see me again!”Things tamed down and eventually we reconciled. They were more stupid than mean so I let things go. My big fucking mistake.So after giving eight people their walking papers, I walked in my house and found a video playing on the television of a woman in silhouette giving blow jobs to. She taught me the polite or medical names for things and the common or vulgar names also. On the web she found diagrams of the sexual organs for males and females. She explained all about ovulation, impregnation, menstruation, even PMT. She helped me find porn sites on the web which showed all sorts of sexual activity, fucking, sucking, anal, double penetration, even S&M.When we were looking at porn sites she warned me that I should not believe everything I learned from them. For instance, she said, if you believed everything on the web you would think that the average male erection was a very thick 12”. She said that at a boozy party once she had surveyed a group of 15 of her girlfriends about their boyfriends or partners. One partner had a 9” dick, most of the rest were 7” and one was only 6”, but his girlfriend was very happy with what he could do with it. Similarly, on porn sites just about all the women squirt when they cum. Of her 15 girlfriends plus her, only two claimed they.
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