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I do not blame you for occasionally forgetting me or ignoring me. I was a quiet child and I love you all dearly. Kelly my dear older sister I do not blame you for the years of abuse, the bruises, broken nose, and handprints on my back, or shattered dreams. I love you now and forever as my sister and I will never blame you. Now world as I matured and grew I began to understand that you are cruel and I need to look out for myself. But I did a poor job of that too. I was pushed around and taken advantage all the time. When I was 17 I found someone I thought was the love of my life. As I write this I am crying. I forgive him for all that he has done but the memories still plague me. I do not blame you for not thinking before acting, so unjustly taking my purity and innocence from me, and making me mature so quickly. I still do love you but things have change and you plague my mind not as someone that loves me but as the one that took that special something from me when I was so. She’s not even fucking listening! I’ll never get out of this blue and white prison. The rest of my life will be spent in this depressingly dingy color scheme. I begin to hate the color blue-grey. It’s the color that forges iron prison bars. Blue and white fear surges through my muscles, sparking along my nerves like electricity across steely, taut cable wires, and rending them into a million slivers under the tensile force. Desperate and terrified, I begin flailing about on my bed. Every muscle in my body contracts, contorts, spasms, flexes, tenses, and finally at once relaxes. My sister continues to talk on her phone as I continue to exist, an unnoticed victim of paralysis. This hauntingly dispassionate scenery will be the last thing I ever see. Soon enough the blue and white tones will assimilate me into their décor, solidifying my captivity. Thankfully, a glimmer of hope shines through the murky blue-grey. My right shoulder begins to tingle. Blood carries feeling down my arm and.
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