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I want to go home. I don’t believe any of this. Maybe she couldn’t hear me anymore. But I could feel tears still dripping from my ... our eyes. I jerked her head back toward the dark window. Bitch. I gave her the finger. She jumped back and snatched her hand down in her lap. Hah! You can’t deny I’m here and still fight me for control. Where am I?She refused to answer. I reached up and tweaked her left nipple. Oooh. Sensitive.“Stop it! All right, you are still here. I will go to a priest. I will not be possessed by Satan’s damned minion.”Stop cussing me. I’m not damned. I’m not a minion. I’m not evil. I’m just scared. Just like you are.“Why? Why are you here in me?”I don’t know. Honest, I don’t.“Miranda, you’re talking in your sleep again,” the woman next to us spoke. “Wake up, dear. Now you can start over.”“Yes, Mother,” the girl said.So you’re Miranda. Nice to meet you, too. You don’t have to speak out loud. I can hear your thoughts.“You can’t!” she thought. At least it wasn’t out. Prove it.”I’m like, “Alright. Do you like porn?”He goes, “Yeah, I love porn. You know that.”I’m like, “Do you only watch scenes with two women together?”“No, I watch a man and a woman making love.”“Do you like the guy to have a small, half-flaccid penis?”He goes, “No, I like big, hard, throbbing cocks.”“Why are you a vegetarian?” I asked him. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his.
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