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Did she sense the open wound in his chest? No, her eyes would speak of it, they looked slightly curious but not concerned. ‘I do not think She hides from me,’ he said, choosing his words carefully this time, ‘but sometimes I think that we hide Her, or part of Her, from ourselves. Perhaps it is the nature of our minds to be closed to the unknown. But such ideas must seem strange to you, they often seem so to me, let us speak of it no more.’ ‘They do seem strange, I have never thought of such things. But I…, I think I understand…’ She paused, unsure if she should continue. What interest could he have in her thoughts? How could she presume to understand him, one who had served the Mother since before she was born? She searched his face as he waited expectantly for her to continue, he did not seem offended but she spoke hesitantly none the less: ‘You will soon introduce me to that which I have never known.’ He still gave no sign of displeasure with her, but listened to her words. I remember standing, naked before a mirror in our bedroom running myhands over my pregnancy's tight, smooth bulge and laughing with thesheer impossibility of what I was seeing, caressing. My body's changesfascinated Daisy, she loved to sit with her hands resting upon my bump,or sleep spooning me so she could hold our baby through me. SometimesI'd feel a spike of fear when I saw my bloated abdomen, brushed itagainst something, or had some well-meaning friend or passer-by commenton it. I felt so strange that my body could be on a biological andhormonal auto-pilot that I, as the sentience sitting in the box at thehead of it all, had no control over. As my body grew and managed mybaby it started planning for the moment when it would decide enough wasenough and expel the child to take its chances in my arms. I laid downmore fat, my breasts grew uncomfortably heavy and my back startedaching. Happily the scans showed my daughter alone in her warm womb,but I couldn't help comparing the.
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