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I started to cry then. I cried before I even knew I wanted to cry, the tears just came, hot and painful in my throat, clamoring to get out. I took in the smooth, fleshy-whiteness of the place where the branches had been, I looked to where the two branches lay forgotten—one on top of the other—in the shade by the fence. I turned my face away from the carnage. Something inside me broke away then. I didn’t know what, I just knew that I would never be the same. Everything looked the same, the grass, the bushes, the dandelions, but I was suddenly aware of the world and the ephemeral nature of everything around me. The end of my youth. At eight years old I saw the encroaching hand of time, I recognized the fact that I would one day grow up and be just like Amber’s stepfather, Brian. A destroyer of trees, of hope. The knowledge loomed before me like a specter. I went home a quarter of an hour later. I couldn’t stand being in the yard with the tree, lamed now and so out of reach. I cried. Holding me, she kissed my head and whispered, "None of this is your fault, Sweetie."I saw Dr. Blackmon walk through the door. He had pulled his surgical mask down and I could tell from the look on his face that things weren't good. When he said, "Chief and Mrs. Adkins, I'm sorry," I made a bee-line for the door, but Dad stepped in front of me and wrapped me in a bear hug. The moment his arms went around me, I burst into tears.Stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head, he mumbled things to me like he had when I was a kid; every other sentence was, "I love you, Baby."I'm not sure how long we stood there, but when the nurse gave me a shot, everyone had left the room but Brad and his parents. Dad told me he and Mom were going to be with Joyie's parents all night and that I was going to spend the night at Brad's house.On the way home, I mentioned Doug and Brad told me that Mom was calling Mrs. Mason. A few minutes later, I went to sleep and didn't know anything else until I woke up.
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