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My ass was so sore I could barely sit down. My father had gone too far or perhaps I was just a sissy boy who couldn’t take a beating. Either way, my mother noticed but I didn't think she cared. That was not the worst. The worst was I was unsure of who or what I was. Was I gay or not? I had enjoyed my fun with Patty and also looking at my mother. However, I also loved my fun with Scott.That beating didn’t knock the gay from me as I was unsure. My bruises would heal and fade away. But mentally it was going to take time for me to heal.I was terrified of my father, my wet dreams were replaced with nightmares. My boogeyman was my father. I would dream of him beating me with his belt. Even when I got wet dreams they turned into nightmares. As the boogeyman would come into them. My life seemed to turn into a living hell.Chores and sleep were all I was allowed to do. No friends over nor was I allowed to go anywhere with them. When my friends called or came over, my mother politely informed. The flowers in every room; the soft pastels; the lacycurtains; the slight scent of lavender; the true sense of hearth and home.Anyone who saw us strolling along the weathered wooden walkway, arm in arm,hand in hand, would have thought it not too remarkable a sight; two women,one a tall, well-build blonde in her mid-30s, the other, a short, buxombrunette in her late 20s; both obviously very much in love.This is one of those absolutely gorgeous fall days that make you thankful tobe alive. It's warm without being too warm; just the lightest of breezes wasswirling in the air, gently lifting our skirts. All the blues and greens arejust more vivid on a day like this.As we walked, and I looked into Kate's eyes, I saw happiness. True happiness.I can't forget the sorrow and pain that was in those lovely brown eyes when Ifirst met her; I'm so grateful that it seems to be gone, finally. She tellsme that when she looks into my eyes, she sees happiness too. And a sense ofwonder.Well, I'm not.
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