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Your eyes won’t get much worse.15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.A Seniors DilemmaI went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Rum before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin, and truth be told, he, who is a waiter, is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her new husband undresses in the. “Hello.” “Brenda, it’s Ashley.” “Hi, sweetie,” said Brenda Song. “How’ve you been?” “Big news. I’ve got a series. Prime time on the CW.” “Congratulations! Wanna go out and celebrate?” “Maybe later. I wanted to ask you about something. You worked with Alyson Michalka, right?” “Aly? Sure, for a year on Phil Of The Future. Why?” “She’s going to be my co-star. What’s she like?” “Aly’s terrific!” “”No ego trips or diva crap?” “Aly? She’s a sweetheart! Believe me, you’re gonna love her!” ********************* One week later, May 2010 “Miss Tisdale? …. Miss Tisdale, are you okay?” Ashley looked dazedly over at the overly solicitous assistant the network had assigned to her. Until a few seconds ago it had been a normal press junket, typical of all the others she’d had to endure: nervous network functionaries running around massaging the press, the random questions, mini-interviews, and photo ops. All the usual chaos. And then She had walked in. Ashley had a vague idea of what Aly Michalka.
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