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During that time, we had talked a couple times on the phone, emailed each other almost every day, and tried to make plans to get together. Things kept coming up, and plans kept getting postponed. I was slowly learning that having an affair was not an easy thing, but I knew the effort it was taking would be worth it, and I refused to give up hope. It was a sunny, humid Thursday morning, and I was re-arranging all the furniture in the living room, something I seemed to do every couple months. The phone rang, and without even looking at the caller ID, I picked it up, almost out of breath from dragging the couch across the hardwood floors. “Hello”…I gasped, trying to catch my breath enough to speak. It was him. “Baby, I want to see you. I NEED to see you. Today. This afternoon.” I felt the smile beaming across my face instantly. He NEEDED to see me. I had longed to hear those words for so long, and here they were, being spoken to me. I heard myself gasp again, not from moving the. So far, I'd been able to keep that promise.Now, suddenly finding this silken thing under my pillow, delicious memories and feelings came flooding back. That she had called a few minutes before to tell me to look under my pillow carried so many messages. Chief among those was, 'Let's play, Billy.'We'd recently given ourselves permission to be more honest and open about our sexual feelings for each other and, at the same time, admitting our fears, had agreed not to have sex. 'God, what does that mean?' I wondered. 'Not having sex.' Just what is 'not having sex' anyway? By my lights, we'd 'had sex' several times. Oh, we hadn't done the dirty deed, but if what we'd experienced wasn't having sex, then what is? We'd been thrown together several times, picked up and tossed about by forces whose strength awed us. Each time that happened, we had withdrawn, shaken and dazed, wondering, 'Where is this going?'Touching the black silk of Jean's "unmentionables" I was thrilled. She'd worn these..
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