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"Emily scoffed, "So why do they call US? This is a case for the regularpolice." That's not the kind of guy he is, Emily. This fellow has magic powers. He turns his victims into swine, since they've defiled themselves. TheChauvinistic Pig Rapist, as we've come to call him, has never been seenclosely, so we don't know what he looks like. All we know of him camefrom a cop who watched him sexually assault another victim from adistance while working on another crime. And we've had a hundredsightings of pigs roaming the streets in the past week, unusually highsince the only two in the city are safe in their cages at the zoo. Anyhow, that was at the Riteabaer Arms on Friday night two weeks ago. One week later, at the same time, the same cop saw him in action, andconfirmed the change to a pig after hearing several cries for help,followed by squeals for help. We're going under the assumption that hestrikes at the Riteabaer, which is the swankiest part of town, once aweek. Since it's. I think there are laws against that." What?" God choked out."You can't kill all the people," Grandpa repeated patiently. "It's against the law." WHAT?" God repeated, his voice getting slightly shrill."Look," Grandpa Jones said in a placating voice, scooting forward in his chair, and leaning on God's desk. "I understand why you're upset. Really I do. I felt the same thing when my kids were teenagers."God slumped back in his chair, feeling slightly dazed, and admitted, "I'm not sure what we're talking about now. I thought we were talking about restarting the human race, but now you're talking about teenagers. You had better explain that to me." Isn't it the same thing?" Grandpa asked. "The human race is like a kid growing up." I don't think I understand," God complained weakly."When my kids were babies, I protected them from everything around them and provided everything for them. Then, they turned into rug-rats, and I had to also protect them from themselves, and everything around.
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