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"I'm sorry, its just..." She trailed off. Was she upset about what had just nearly happened? Though I had never had pushed her or even suggested it, had she somehow felt pressured or obligated to go that far, but couldn't? "It's okay, Abby. I never wanted to make you feel-"Abby cut me off. "Its just, how long can we do this?" Her voice was a frantic whisper. "We can't keep this up forever, always pretending to everyone else. We'd never be able to lead a normal life." Oh," was all I managed. So that's why she was upset. "We're supposed to graduate, move out of here, go to college, get jobs, have families. How I do any of that if I just want to be with you? Our whole lives would be a sham. We'll have to stop sometime. And being so close to you has just so... amazing... that I know the longer we keep going, the harder it will be to ever stop."I didn't respond, didn't know how to. I didn't want to stop, but I knew somewhere deep down that she was right. Being with as close with Abby as I. It scared me a bit, and I was afraid something was wrong, and I pictured going to the hospital complaining of an erection that wouldn’t subside. She came several times too. I don’t remember when, from what position, whether it was at the same time as me. None of that made its way into my memory. All I knew was that we had fucked and somehow it became one-thirty in the morning and we were still awake and fucking and sucking and licking and stroking. And I was still hard. At some point we both fell asleep with the lights on, lying naked with each other on top of her sheets, uncovered. And then at some point in the morning, we awoke (yes, I was still hard), and she asked me if I wanted to take a bath (no shower was suggested – just a bath). I said I would, and she drew a bath for me, and handed me a towel. Twenty-four hours before, I was in the comfort of my own apartment, alone, anticipating what kind of evening I would have later, and now, twenty-four hours later, I had made love to.
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