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Unfortunately, my chest painstayed.A week and a half later, I finally admitted it. I had tits, tinyteenage girl tits, but tits nonetheless. They weren't large enoughthat they needed support normally, I'd never have noticed if I hadn'tbeen running and bouncing them around for miles. Probably wouldn'thave noticed if I hadn't made the sudden transition from wearing asports bra 'for fun' to nothing so suddenly either. But I did, itwasn't 'for fun' anymore, a sports bra was going to be a requirementfor exercise going forward.'It isn't permanent,' I told myself. I'd fucked up and gone too far,yes, and I'd have to wear one for now, but I'd stop the pills andthings would go back to normal. But I don't know how much I believedthat. Trans women don't do these kinds of treatments to be a girltemporarily, they do it to change their gender for good. If I'm on thesame drugs, why would I be any different?Because I have to be, because otherwise I'm really fucked.So I'd need to start wearing. We texted and emailed each other continously while she was away, saying beatiful words and writing emotional love poems to each other. During that time Ann, my very recent ex, contacted me again. Before I knew we were camping in the wild, in a small tent, with a black dildo and a white dildo to play with, filling this small tent with erotic energy and creating a sphere of parallel universe where it was the two of us that were in love, surrounded be a sexual force field keeping thoughts of any other reality away. We fantasized about another man while playing with the dildos. She found it extremely arousing to imagine another man there to fuck her too. She also found the idea of me sucking his cock thrilling. So did I really. You might say we had a kind of virtual threesome there. The weekend passed in sexual bliss. But as we drove back to town the magic wore off, my high wore off, other truths started to appear and we broke off again in the car as we got back. I did not tell Lara.
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