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Letters and cards once plentiful and personal became fewer and almost generic. In my conversations with Hanna and even with Caitlin's parents, their responses were the same. Caitlin wasn't writing anyone very often anymore.I decided that I would give it one more really sincere shot. I began to write her and then scrapped what I had written and began again, repeating this every night for a week before I managed to get the words just right. As I finished, I realized that I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and for the first time in many, many months, I actually prayed that my efforts were not wasted.My dearest Caitlin,It seems like forever since I have been with you, heard your voice, held you in my arms or even seen you smile. I miss those things, and I miss you, terribly.Mickey and Sharon are in love, there is no doubt about it. He is such a changed person, for the better to be sure. Seeing him with her, or just hearing him speak of her and of them together reminds me so much. Now, I counted Kasia and Eric as my closest friends. It had started with a dinner invitation. I was alone in a new city and they befriended me. Kasia asked me to go shopping with her. Eric kept me entertained over lunch every day with tales of their friends and family. Kasia always had some activity planned for us over the weekend, whether it be more shopping, a movie, or the occasional camping trip. Eric was a few years older than me but Kasia and I were the same age. We all got along like peas in a pod. No conversation was too risqué, no topic taboo. We talked about everything and anything. They both knew I was bisexual and had accepted it without batting an eye.The more I got to know them, the more attached I became. They were kind and generous and devoted to each other. I envied them their love. It was by turns quiet, and warm, and silly, and all the things I had always hoped to find for myself. Now I had, but it was too late. Telling them how I felt would only create.
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