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I tried to smile as I nodded but I'm not sure I made it. Even two weeks after the fact, I have trouble wrapping my head around the idea.I scurry further into the school and away from the door as the sound of another car skidding to a stop alerts me to the fact that I'm not that far ahead of my ex-friend. I duck around the corner and lean back against the wall to listen as he starts screaming and whining about not being allowed in.I almost laugh as he shows his security badge and is told that he isn't on the list of performers.After a few moments of listening to his frustration fueled anger, I've had enough fun. I head into the back stage area to see the other guys in the band.I'm the last to arrive and the other guys look up when I walk in. No one says anything. I guess they're trying to gauge my mood. Friends do that."Hey, Mike," I say as he looks across the large room at me. "Are ya ready to get out there?" Are you sure that you want to do that song?" he asks. Mike and I, in fact. You feel repulsed by what you have just done; by how you look. You see yourself as a sissy; a faggot!You run from the bar through the street still crowded with vanilla partygoers. You are overcome with self-consciousness; your face and your clothes still visibly covered in a black mans cum; you, an obvious man in womens clothing; your own cum starting to dribble from your crotch down you stockinged legs. You run as fast as you can in your heels to your car and drive home as quickly as you can.You lie awake all night thinking about it; trying to rationalize what happened. You convince yourself that your feeling of revulsion confirms that you are not a faggot. Maybe this event will help you stop the cross dressing. For a few weeks after, you resist your stash of women’s clothing. You tell yourself that you’ve shaken the habit.Then, one night alone at home, you feel bored. A little frisky! Just like one drink can’t do any harm with an alcoholic, just dressing one more time to relieve.
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