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I feel angry, I feel unworthy, I feel caged and I feel empty. These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and conflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an. We both waited a while, then it was Camsa that did the moving. Soon his strokes got longer and longer. His voice mentioned my name constantly, as if he would forget. I was excited but had to force myself to hold off so Camsa could have what he wanted.His groans got louder and louder until he squeezed me tight. I was beyond caring at this point and I pulled out and pushed in at least a dozen times before I filled his passage.Camsa's arms collapsed and I bent over his small body and savoured the feelings running through me. I opened my mind to him now and felt love coming from him. This worked with most of my partners but usually it took a lot longer for the effect to work.As a test I said mentally, "Are you sore?"I repeated myself a few times until I got the feeling that he was happy just where he was. I held him tight to me and fell on my side. In a moment I was asleep but I would not let Camsa go.When I woke up in the morning, I found Camsa sitting on my waist as he did squats. He.
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