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My best friend Susan suggested I place numbered ping-pong balls in a basket and have Jake pick a number at random. The number would correspond to an expensive gift I knew Jake would like. Then using my own credit card, we would go out and purchase his present. I told Jake about the idea and placed eight numbered balls in a basket. I gave the corresponding list to Jake. Ball#1 was for a new 40" color TV. Ball#2 was for a new Remington shotgun. Ball#3 was for a small 9 foot row boat with trolling motor. And so forth. Jake was very pleased and said he could hardly wait until his birthday to pick his present.About two weeks before his birthday Jake wanted to add four balls of his own. Each ball represented a sexual fantasy for him. Jake explained that along with other parts of our marriage, the sex was becoming routine and he always had some strong fantasies he would love to live out. As an example he explained that one fantasy was for us to go parking at the local make-out picnic pond. Not easy to do sandwiched between another two of Harry's goons in the back of the Escalade. "This a tuning up?" I asked, all smiles, trying to keep it light. Duggan laughed out loud, pointing a finger at me. The other two thought I was funny too. "That's what I always liked about you, Bumfelt," sniggered Duggan. "Didn't I tell you fellas, he's a funny guy. Funny fuckin guy." He pointed out the windshield and the driver took us through a hole in a chain link fence- the Escalade bumping and bouncing along a rough road. "You helped yourself to what was it? smirked Duggan. "Hundred and twenty grand," I said. "Give or take." "Give or take. That's funny as fuck, Bumfelt," laughed Duggan. "That was one fuck up that you made. Did you think that was not gonna get noticed?" "Well, yeah," I replied, looking to the two goons. All smiles. . "That's kinda why I stole it." Duggan laughed fit to burst his fat gut. The Escalade bounced along. "Yer a piece of work. I gotta give yer that," he chuckled,.
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