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I drift off to sleep feeling warm and exhausted. I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep but there are limbs all around me and my first view is of Katy’s pajama clad breasts next to my head. I start to look around and realize that I’m definitely in Mathilda’s room and all of us are spread out on the floor with all my girls around me either draped over me or clinging onto a limb. It takes me a few minutes to get myself free and I can see that the sun hasn’t come up but more than that I stumble in my underwear to the bathroom to pee. I don’t even try aim in the toilet and just point towards the shower and lean my shoulder on the wall before letting loose. I finish and stagger around to find my clothes but get stopped by Imelda who has come searching for me. “What are you doing up,” Imelda asks groggily. “Trying to get dressed and get back to the park,” I tell her looking around for my clothes. “Guy that happened last night, it’s three in the morning and we took care of the clean up,”. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbsWhat’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutesWhy do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see youWhy do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because the Sex Ed class uses it.
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