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No; I belong here. I am just as lost as any alcoholic, junkie, or whore who has ever stared at these same four walls.The reason I choose the floor is because I am alone.I wasn't always like I am now. I once believed in the faithful heart. I believed that I was a good man, a good husband. I believed that I loved.I believe none of those things now.I have been married for 10 years to the most wonderful woman I have ever known. Our life together had been good. She didn't deserve what I did to her.Up until three days ago I wouldn't have thought it possible that I could betray her. That I could make her sob. That I could push her down the slopes of hell. I never thought that I would do anything but spend my life with her, growing old and gray together, hand in hand.Until I met Lorie.My job is a sales rep, and I made an appointment with a local company to visit and tell them how what I had to sell would improve their business. My sales have been flagging since the economy went on a downward. I was sure it scared him. "I guess ... yeah. I'm gay." He took a deep, shuddering breath."Okay," I said nonchalantly.He looked up at me in surprise. I didn't know what he was expecting, but obviously it wasn't immediate acceptance of the fact."You're okay with it? Shit, Boss, I'm not sure I'm okay with it." He took a sip of his hot tea and set the cup back down again."You want to talk about it?" I asked quietly."I don't know what I would say," he replied."Well, when did you first think you might be..." Queer? You don't have to mince words with me, Sean. You couldn't call me anything worse than I've called myself." I wasn't going to call you any names, Spencer."He sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm a little defensive right now. And a little nervous." If it's any help, you don't have to be defensive with me. Or nervous. Hell, Spence, we've known each other a long time. You're one of my best friends. Bi, gay, straight, they're just tags. They're nameplates for somebody else. That's not how I.
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