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FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRSIn an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARDOutside a second-hand shop:WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESSSpotted in a safari. "Ostand winced. "The Deputy Mayor," he said softly, shaking his head. "The fucking Deputy Mayor is vic number eight. As soon as the press gets hold of this, the whole thing's gonna come out. And what do we have for suspects? Nothing."Tuesday 13 MayHe had sworn to himself he wouldn't ever visit the park again.Then he swore to himself he would only stay for a minute.Then he swore he wouldn't sit down at the benches nearest the swing sets.But ... oh, they were lovely. Little girls, six, seven, eight years old. So pure, so fresh. He couldn't help himself. Even if someone recognized him, really, what was the harm? He wasn't doing anything wrong.So when he noticed one of the most lovely little visions off a bit, by herself, it really wasn't much of a stretch for him to go over and see if she needed some help, or something. And she was so compliant, so ... obedient, when he suggested that maybe they could go into the woods a bit farther, where it wasn't so noisy.And it was like his every.
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