‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked.‘Well, I can think of one thing, ‘ the cowboy offered.‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!’St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?’‘Couple of minutes ago.’These two are compliments of J & BGRANDMAA man moves into a nudist colony.He receives a letter from his Grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He’s really worried but then. "You don't fit in, either." I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans but I knew what she meant. My body language was all wrong. I nodded. "My roommate's party, my roommate's friends, his friends' friends, and so on. You know anyone here?" She shook her head. "No one. I walked a friend back to her room after a movie, heard the music and decided to crash." We talked as I continued pouring beers. Nico told me she was majoring in sociology and I said I was studying computer science and engineering. The fact that she didn't run away after I told her was encouraging. The music down the hall was cranked even higher and drinkers crowded in around us, forcing us closer together. Nicole shouted one-sided conversation in my ear as I pumped the keg. To be honest, I don't recall too much of what she said but I clearly remember the feel of her breath on my ear and the five times her body rubbed against my arm as the crowd pressed in. Eventually the keg ran dry and I had the unenviable task of turning.
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