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I even thought about it, like you think about things that you know you simply cant do. I knew you wanted me. But you never made a move because you knew too that I couldn’t and that it would have hurt us both too much.’ She was right. ‘I knew you’d always be my closest friend because you love me and I love you. But we both knew it could never be physical. We never needed to say it, we knew.’ I nodded slowly. ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘You don’t need to be.’ She stood up. ‘Have another cigarette and come back when you’re ready, OK?’ She leaned down to look closely into my eyes and I nodded again. ‘Silly cow.’ I smiled a wan smile to myself as she walked away. I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only. .. Hi. It wasn’t any different than the others on the block when we moved in. We just did a lot of work,” I managed. All three girls were blondes, with straight hair in identical cuts. The major difference that my practiced eyes could discern was the colors of their skimpy bikini tops. Why the heck would girls be out walking around on the street in so little clothing? It hadn’t gotten that hot yet.“You mean you bought the place?”“No. We’re just renting.”“Why would you do a bunch of work on a place that you don’t own? What a waste!” Okay, second difference in the blondes. This one had a whiny voice and big round sunglasses. I just shook my head.“Didn’t want to live in a pigsty,” I said.“We already pay too much in rent and have a tiny room we have to share. I’m not giving the creep who owns the place any more than I have to.” Number three. Pink sunglasses, pink patches of fabric that barely covered her nipples, and teeth that betrayed her perfection by being slightly too big for her.
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